The car was in Boston.
I was worried about buying a car from so far away again, but turns out he lives in the same area as one of my good friends from college. He checked it out for me, and spoke with the seller (an AZ member, car was in the classifieds). Everything seemed legit. Started setting things up for a PPI, but the shop I wanted it done at was about an hour and a half from the seller. He suggested a shop closer, and after finding nothing negative about them on any of the Audi/VW/BMW forums. Had the seller take the car in and my friend picked up the report,

Everything seemed like I was finally catching some luck. Bought a ticket and flew out to buy it. Looked like this when I picked it up,


Said bye to my friends, and started the drive from Boston back to Denver. And that's when things started going downhill...
Now for the sake of full disclosure, I am now the 9th owner of this particular car. I wouldn't have bought it, but the Carfax came back clean accident wise, and the ownership trail lead me to believe there were really only two prior owners. The car was actually originally purchased from a dealer here in Denver, so I looked at it like I was bringing the car home after a hard life on the east coast.
I immediately regret this decision.
About 3 hours into the trip I had to mash on the brakes to avoid some crap on the highway. The wheel shook so hard from the vibration it nearly ripped out of my hands. So, at least one of the discs was warped. If you'll recall, the PPI I had done made no mention of this, actually stating the brakes were checked out and were fine. Great...
I started noticing more stuff. One of the taillights was cracked, rear wiper didn't work, tint was so old it was purple and peeling. You know, the little things that aren't immediately apparent when you buy a car until you live with it for a while. But, it was minor stuff. Made it to Ohio, day 1 of 3 complete.
Day 2 didn't start well.
Almost totaled it less than 24 hours after buying it when some bitch in a Range Rover decided stop signs didn't apply to her, and nearly t-boned me. Also noticed that on a cold morning start the power steering made a lovely metal on metal grinding sound until the car heated up. The aftermarket stereo would also randomly lose two speakers after cornering. Still, the rest of the day was fairly uneventful, and I was on track to make it to KC by the early evening. Then I hit Missouri...
Now I've done the drive from Ohio to Denver 3 times previous, and every single time something happens in Missouri, and I lose a shit ton of time. This trip was no different. It monsooned for about 3 hours straight, and I only covered about 15 miles in that time. I was now not going to make it to KC until well after dark. Night came and I turned on the headlights. Nothing.
Pulled off at a trailer stop in BFE Missouri. The headlights were pointed straight down, and one of the bulbs was that weird color they turn right before they burn out. Fortunately, I had brought my vag-com cable with me. Checked for codes. Nothing. I knew the battery had been replaced, so I tried to run adaptation. Got the passenger side to raise, but the drivers side wouldn't move. Not only was the motor broke the manual arms were broken, and it couldn't be adjusted. I was getting enough light from the passenger side, so I said fuck it. Only when I restarted the car and turned on the lights it had dipped again. Checked for codes in the specific module this time. Auto-level arm ground to fault. Brilliant. Go to manually adjust the light again. Only this time, while the motor worked the manual arms were also broken, and I couldn't raise it. This of course was also mysteriously missing from that PPI I had done.
Totally fucked. I was wondering what else was wrong with this thing.
I couldn't drive anywhere, it was already late, and I was nowhere near a hotel. So I slept in the car. I attempted to sleep for about two hours before realizing it wasn't happening. Said fuck it and took off from outside Columbia around 1am. No traffic to be found, so I could drive with the high beams on. And since there was no traffic to be found I fucking caned it. Ripped on 7 Red Bulls and pure adrenaline, I made it back to Denver at 9:30am. It usually takes about 9 to get from KC to Denver, so there's that. I had been up for about 30 hours straight at this point, so I went to sleep for about 20. When I got up is when the real fun began.
Already freaked about it, I called my usual shop here in Denver to do their own inspection. This is what they came back with,

Yeah...
Among the surprises; all 4 rotors warped, pads nearly dead, valve covers/cam seals leaking heavily, no idea when the brake fluid had last been changed, same for the power steering fluid, accessory belt was on its last legs, etc, etc. I also noticed the front bumper had been repainted. Poorly. I mean so bad Maaco would have been embarrassed. Basically, the only things that properly worked on the car were the cup holder(!?!?), and the rearview hadn't leaked (but of course didn't autodim).
I distinctly remember having a PPI done on this car...
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